My Newest New Year Resolutions

by Aman on January 1, 2012

Perfect New Year ResolutionsAh, it’s that time of the year again when everyone from Mummy to Papa, from Chintu to Pinky, from Sonia to Manmohan to quite possibly even Rakhi Sawant (provided she knows what resolutions are) makes their newest New Year Resolutions. For 27 long and turbulent years, I’ve silently made them too but just like all the people mentioned above, I manage to break all of them, within a week!

So why is it going to be any different this time, you may ask? The answer, my dear Watson, is that this time, I’m going to be making a few selected ones that I’ve deliberated over and over again, just like Congress has done with the Lokpal Bill, and which I wholly, solemnly swear to keep. The same solemn swear that Harry does when he’s up to no good while using the Marauder’s Map. Tsk Tsk the nerve of some people!

Resolution No. 1 – Change my Laptop’s Resolution

Nothing much to say here except that I try my level best to crack a PJ with every new post.  Yes, Ra.One like 3 levels! Slightly off-topic but shame on you SRK, I want demand my money back!

Resolution No. 2 – I Will Try and Stop Making Fun of Amish Tripathi

If you still haven’t read my review of The Immortals of Meluha and The Secret of the Nagas, then nangu-pangu wali shame- shame on you. Nevertheless, I will try and poke a little less fun when Amish returns this year with the final part of his Shiva Trilogy.

Resolution No. 3 – I Will Not Hold my Breath & Pull in my Paunch When A Girl Walks By!

I’ve simple accepted defeat here. For the past 7 years, I’ve unsuccessfully tried to work out a gym schedule in my busy-shizzy life but to no avail. And hence have had to resort to tricks like I’ve mentioned in order to impress the opposite sex.

So ladies and more ladies, I proudly present to you the tiny paunch of Amandeep Singh Kohli.

Resolution No. 4 – I Will Not Eat Anything at Night AFTER Brushing my Teeth

To my roommates, please stop getting 5 Star home if you want me to honor the above statement. Hopefully then, I’ll feel a little more guilty about not brushing my teeth at night and start doing it for a change.

Resolution No. 5 – I Will Try to Be A Little Less Sarcastic, if you promise to be more Intelligent!

Mother – Father Swear on this one with no fingers crossed to cancel it out. My sarcasm has reached such epic proportions that my girlfriend has promised to cancel out that ‘dahej’ that I’ve been so graciously demanding. So in order to protect my our future, sweetheart this one’s for you!

Resolution No. 6 – I Promise to Write More Such Funny Lines, If You Promise to Continue Reading

And lastly, and the most important of them all is this Holy Grail of all resolutions. This blog would not have been this funny without you guys and hopefully, some girls. So continue to pass down the appreciation and I promise to continue giving you those laughed-so-hard-i-cracked-my-ribs moments.

Take care, smile more often and have a Happy New Year 2012!

Love,

Aman

Happy New Year 2012

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

sulagna January 3, 2012 at 9:20 am

nanga pangu waali shame shame 🙂 🙂 🙂 happy new year aman 🙂 n you always crack me up !!

Reply

Aman January 3, 2012 at 9:31 am

Happy New Year to you as well Sulagna 🙂
All i can say is that I’ve had a lot of those nangu-pangu moments as a kid 😛

Reply

Ritisha January 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

Lol!!!! You crack me up! I share your resolutions. 😀
Have a great 2012!

Reply

Aman January 7, 2012 at 5:34 am

Hey Ritisha,

Hope your have an amazing 2012 as well!

Reply

Purba January 9, 2012 at 9:52 am

You wait for the year to end to knock some sense into that head of yours?
Btw did you know that ads on your blog are peddling Triparthi’s gems?

Reply

Aman February 9, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Ah Purba,

What can i say in my defense! I need my head screwed on right in the 1st place to knock some sense into it…
As for the ads, its just a social experiment I’m running…I actually want to measure the effect of reviews on purchasing pattern of people and then map the results together…if that didn’t make any sense, then ou know it works 😛

Reply

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