Five of the Weirdest Book Titles Ever Written

by Aman on May 9, 2012

Top 5 Weird Book Titles Ever Written

Sometime back (ok, lazy me wrote it a few months ago), I wrote a post titled 3 Forgotten Stars of Yester-years and then very recently, I wrote an informative article (I hope it was) titled 10 Fun Facts You Didn’t About Google. So I thought to myself, these number bearing posts are a good thing to do when you don’t have any bright ideas to write about. So after 3 and 10, I now present to you the number 5.

And what better topic to pick than books (Read some of the book review I’ve done by Clicking Here). So after some (a lot of) research, I came up with the perfect post to gross you out as well as bore you to death. They say you can never tell a book by its cover but let me tell you that if you have titles like these, people probably won’t even reach till the cover!

Zen of Farting by Reepah Gud WanZen of Farting

At #1 on this list of the Weirdest Book Titles Ever Written, is a masterpiece titled Zen of Farting. We men have always been blessed by this gift which multiplies in quantity and quality (post-marriage I’m told) but now there’s a whole book dedicated to this art of excreting gases out of your body!

So remember to fart as often as you want to; I’m told if you hold them, they travel up your spine all the way to your brain and that’s where all those shitty ideas come from!

I’m sure Buddhist monks all across the world, from the high mountains of Tibet to the drug-pedaling streets of Mexico, will be hiding their head (or covering their noses) in shame because of this.

It, quite literally, is “breathtaking”!

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The Complete A**hole’s Guide to Handling Chicks by Karl MarksThe Complete Asshole's Guide to Handling Chicks

This one ought to be banned by women’s lib around the world! I don’t know what the author was thinking but dude, writing a book which tells men how to dominate the women in your life is definitely not gonna get you laid! Not in this lifetime, never!

Check out some of the “advice” this guy dishes out in his novel:

  • How a five-dollar date can get you laid
  • How to stop being friends with girls and start getting them in the sack
  • Where you’ll have the best odds of finding a one-night stand, and how to get rid of the chick the next morning
  • How to trick a woman into thinking you’re classy, even if you have holes in your underwear
  • Why fat chicks always try to keep you from banging their hot friends, and how to finally stop these evil creatures
  • How to stop your wife from nagging you into an early grave
  • Why it’s possible to watch six hours of football, put the moves on your neighbor’s hot daughter, and leave the toilet seat up in the same day

We all know who the Asshole here is!

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English as a Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous Examples Taken From Everyday Life by Sterling JohnsonEnglish as a Second Fucking Language

This is one hell of a fucking title, let me tell you that. We all know that the first words anyone learns in a foreign language are the swear words and this book is a testimony to that fact. It’s a must for effective communication as every “dilli-walah” will tell you that no sentence is complete without BC/MC in it and that too, a minimum of twice!

“Abey behen ki, Usme feel hi nahi aati, yaar!”

One of my posts is a testimony to this fact (Read it here) as to how India is not just adapting to English as a language, we’re adopting English as a second fucking language! Although all said and done, Punjabi remains my choice for abuses…

“Teri Maa di…..Jai!”

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How to Shit in the Woods, Third Edition: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art by Kathleen MeyerHow to Shit in the Woods, Third Edition

At #4 on this list of the Weirdest Book Titles Ever Written is another one that comes naturally to us Indians. We don’t need a book to tell us how to do it, do we!

And just in case you didn’t notice the title, this one’s a third edition which proves just how popular this “lost art” really is! Just check out the praise and sales this book has notched up:

“Hailed in its first edition as “the most important environmental book of the decade” by Books of the Southwest, and in its second as “the real shit” by the late, great, outdoor photographer Galen Rowell, this bestselling guide is often called the “backpacker’s bible” and has sold more than 2.5 million copies in eight languages!”

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How to Pee Standing Up: Tips for Hip Chicks by Anna SkinnerHow to Pee Standing Up - Tips for Hip Chicks

We talk about women equality all the time but I bet no one ever thought of this while talking about how women should be given their due right! Anna Skinner, through her “revolutionary” book, gives various tips for the hip chicks. I wonder how the ladies are going to react though!

And just so you know, it’s actually a really good book that talks about helping every chick sail through those tricky situations (not those ones idiot). Don’t take the title too seriously!

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

subhorup May 10, 2012 at 1:07 pm

laughed my way through this post. would never have believed that these titles were for real.

Reply

Manpreet Kaur June 14, 2014 at 1:56 pm

LOL
how do you find such stuff? References?
I am envious of your blog. 😛

Reply

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