Top 5 Weird Book Titles Ever Written

Sometime back (ok, lazy me wrote it a few months ago), I wrote a post titled 3 Forgotten Stars of Yester-years and then very recently, I wrote an informative article (I hope it was) titled 10 Fun Facts You Didn’t About Google. So I thought to myself, these number bearing posts are a good thing to do when you don’t have any bright ideas to write about. So after 3 and 10, I now present to you the number 5.

And what better topic to pick than books (Read some of the book review I’ve done by Clicking Here). So after some (a lot of) research, I came up with the perfect post to gross you out as well as bore you to death. They say you can never tell a book by its cover but let me tell you that if you have titles like these, people probably won’t even reach till the cover!

Zen of Farting by Reepah Gud WanZen of Farting

At #1 on this list of the Weirdest Book Titles Ever Written, is a masterpiece titled Zen of Farting. We men have always been blessed by this gift which multiplies in quantity and quality (post-marriage I’m told) but now there’s a whole book dedicated to this art of excreting gases out of your body!

So remember to fart as often as you want to; I’m told if you hold them, they travel up your spine all the way to your brain and that’s where all those shitty ideas come from!

I’m sure Buddhist monks all across the world, from the high mountains of Tibet to the drug-pedaling streets of Mexico, will be hiding their head (or covering their noses) in shame because of this.

It, quite literally, is “breathtaking”!

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The Complete A**hole’s Guide to Handling Chicks by Karl MarksThe Complete Asshole's Guide to Handling Chicks

This one ought to be banned by women’s lib around the world! I don’t know what the author was thinking but dude, writing a book which tells men how to dominate the women in your life is definitely not gonna get you laid! Not in this lifetime, never!

Check out some of the “advice” this guy dishes out in his novel:

  • How a five-dollar date can get you laid
  • How to stop being friends with girls and start getting them in the sack
  • Where you’ll have the best odds of finding a one-night stand, and how to get rid of the chick the next morning
  • How to trick a woman into thinking you’re classy, even if you have holes in your underwear
  • Why fat chicks always try to keep you from banging their hot friends, and how to finally stop these evil creatures
  • How to stop your wife from nagging you into an early grave
  • Why it’s possible to watch six hours of football, put the moves on your neighbor’s hot daughter, and leave the toilet seat up in the same day

We all know who the Asshole here is!

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English as a Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous Examples Taken From Everyday Life by Sterling JohnsonEnglish as a Second Fucking Language

This is one hell of a fucking title, let me tell you that. We all know that the first words anyone learns in a foreign language are the swear words and this book is a testimony to that fact. It’s a must for effective communication as every “dilli-walah” will tell you that no sentence is complete without BC/MC in it and that too, a minimum of twice!

“Abey behen ki, Usme feel hi nahi aati, yaar!”

One of my posts is a testimony to this fact (Read it here) as to how India is not just adapting to English as a language, we’re adopting English as a second fucking language! Although all said and done, Punjabi remains my choice for abuses…

“Teri Maa di…..Jai!”

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How to Shit in the Woods, Third Edition: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art by Kathleen MeyerHow to Shit in the Woods, Third Edition

At #4 on this list of the Weirdest Book Titles Ever Written is another one that comes naturally to us Indians. We don’t need a book to tell us how to do it, do we!

And just in case you didn’t notice the title, this one’s a third edition which proves just how popular this “lost art” really is! Just check out the praise and sales this book has notched up:

“Hailed in its first edition as “the most important environmental book of the decade” by Books of the Southwest, and in its second as “the real shit” by the late, great, outdoor photographer Galen Rowell, this bestselling guide is often called the “backpacker’s bible” and has sold more than 2.5 million copies in eight languages!”

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How to Pee Standing Up: Tips for Hip Chicks by Anna SkinnerHow to Pee Standing Up - Tips for Hip Chicks

We talk about women equality all the time but I bet no one ever thought of this while talking about how women should be given their due right! Anna Skinner, through her “revolutionary” book, gives various tips for the hip chicks. I wonder how the ladies are going to react though!

And just so you know, it’s actually a really good book that talks about helping every chick sail through those tricky situations (not those ones idiot). Don’t take the title too seriously!

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GoogleI use Google. You use Google. Except for 14% of the world’s population, everyone uses Google. We use Google for anything and everything. From checking out spellings to the latest Porn Prom clips, Google dominates our everyday lives. “Google kar le yaar” has become one of the most used phrases in India and the last time you opened up Yahoo!, it probably was on a DVD. In fact, the last time I used some other search engine was when I opened my Hotmail account and now even your friendly neighborhood aunty knows the difference between Hotmail and Hot Male.

So the other day, I was reading David A Vise’sThe Google Story (yes as you might have guessed, I do read some weird stuff from time to time) and decided to go on a troll hunt through the internet to find out 10 fun facts that you might not know about Google. And yes, I used Google to find these facts!

1. Google’s First Ever Tweet

Guess what Google tweeted when it got onto Twitter? In keeping in line with the company’s geeky philosophy, the tweet was as symbolic as it could be, quite literally.

This tweet, sent in February 2009, reads “I’m 01100110 01100101 01100101 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101100 01110101 01100011 01101011 01111001 00001010.”

Google's First Ever Tweet

For all those still scratching their head, it’s a binary code that reads: “I’m feeling lucky.”

2. Google Has a Company Dinosaur

Everyone knows that Google is the T-Rex of search engines, so it’s no small wonder to find a Dinosaur replica right outside the main building. The message to competitors couldn’t be much clearer. Come any closer and we’re going to gobble you up

Google T-Rex

3. Moma Knows Everything

If you think that Google knows everything, then you’re probably right. But guess who knows all the internal gup-shup that takes place within Google. It’s called Moma and the intranet is hugely popular with all the Google employees.

Google Moma

4. Google and The Lack of HTML

I always thought Google employed the best software engineers in the universe and I’m pretty sure I’m right! What I didn’t know was that the Google founders suffered from a lack of HTML knowledge!

Google Clean Interface

The clean interface that we so love about Google is not because they wanted it that way; they wanted to create a quick interface which turned into a clean interface all because of lack of HTML knowledge.

5. The “I’m Feeling Lucky” Button Costs Google $110 Million a Year!

Ever notice that ubiquitous “I’m feeling lucky” button on the Google homepage that you’ve probably never used. What if I told you that this small little piece of grey rectangle, costs Google over 110 million dollars a year!

That’s right! What this button effectively does, is that it takes the user directly to the top search result for that query thereby bypassing all the other top 9 results and also the ads that get displayed alongside them. Brin was recently quoted as saying that almost 1% of all Google searches go through the “I’m feeling lucky” button and that costs the company around $110 million in annual revenue.

Google Im-feeling-lucky

So why doesn’t Google take it off? Well, it just did but in such a sneaky way that you probably didn’t even notice.  It’s still there on the homepage but thanks to Google Instant, you don’t get to use it anymore!

Try it and see for yourself.

6. Google and The BackRub

The principle behind Google’s patented search technology has a lot do with the number of backlinks pointing towards a certain page (although this can be disputed to no end) and because of this the very first name intended for the search engine giant was titled “BackRub”.

Google BackRub

Had that name stuck, I would have asked you to “backrub” someone instead of Google someone!

7. Google Bares It All

Earlier search engines and their home pages were so cluttered with ads and information that when Google was testing its bare homepage version with users, a lot of them just sat there staring at the screen even though the page had been loaded.

After a minute had passed, the tester intervened and asked ‘What’s the matter?’ to which they replied “We are waiting for the rest of it”!

In order to solve this problem, the founders had to resort to putting a copyright message as means of a page marker.

google-home-patent

8. The 1st Ever Google Doodle

We all love the amazing and often brilliantly creative Google Doodles but did you know which was the 1st ever Google Doodle and how they came into being?

googburningman

Brin and Page would make a trip to Nevada every year to watch the “Burning Man” festival and the year they founded Google, this “Burning Man Doodle” was put up on the homepage to let users know they weren’t in office and that technical issues would have to wait. Talk about out-of-office messages!

9. Googlers and Nooglers

Most of you might know that the Google HQ is known as the Googleplex and that Google’s employees are normally referred to as “Googlers”. But what you probably don’t know is that all new joiners in Google are called as “Nooglers”.

Googler

So what’s the criterion that separates a Googler from a Noogler? As a rule of thumb, “When you’ve been around longer than 1% of the staff, you cease being a Noogler.”

Oh and by the way, an ex Google employee is called a “Xoogler”. And you my friend are an “Oogler”. Go look that one up!

10. Google Has a Sense of Humour

We all have the perception that Google is one heck of a cool company and I would willingly cut one of your arms to work there! So it’s really no wonder then to know that Google has an equally amazing sense of humour (just like me).

Over the years, Google has loaded its various products including Search with some great gags, goofs and Easter eggs, the latest of which took place this April Fool’s Day!

Google Easter Eggs

These aren’t the only 10 interesting facts about Google that most of us didn’t know; there are probably 100’s more (Thanks to Mashable and other sites for helping me with this research). For a better understanding on this history of Google and all about this search engine giant, I suggest you read David A Vise’sThe Google Story

The Google Story

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